4 Things I've Learned As A New Bride

I’ve officially been married two months to the love of my life. He is determined, he is funny, and he is loving. We are both adjusting to living with another person and learning how to compromise in how we make decisions such as: delegating who takes out the trash, asking the other person before making certain purchases, and checking in with one another. These are simple things but they add up. Grace must come in abundance! Word of advice: if you think you’re giving the other person enough grace, give double. 

Here are four things I've learned as a new bride...


1.) Your spouse is not god
Remind yourself, even though you're twitterpated by your new, dashing hubby, that he is human, a blessing but not your god. Together you are to serve each other but God first. Remembering who is your Lord allows you to become more like Jesus in the way you speak and treat each others. 

For your Maker is your husband,
the LORD of hosts is his name;
and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer,
the God of the whole earth he is called.
-Isaiah 54:5

 2.) Your purpose is not to be a wife or husband
Once you get married your purpose has not been fulfilled. I knew too many girls that thought, I just need to get married and then I'll be happy. Wrong! Marriage, nor your spouse, will bring you fulfillment and that is the wrong reason to get married. Can you imagine the pressure that's being put on you by another person? Marriage is so beautiful and so wonderful, but it's a part of your life not your purpose. Only look to God for your worth. Marriage means you have another person to encourage, support and help you fulfill your life's purpose as a daughter/son to the King. It is an amazing tool to bring people to Christ but your purpose is not to be a wife.  

But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God.
- John 1:12

Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.
-Proverbs 19:21

3.) Communication is everything
All of us tend to lean toward fight or flight when it comes to a discussion, tiff or argument. Neither shutting down nor forcing your opinion on someone works in a marriage. The "winning" mentality in a marriage won't work either. As husband and wife, you're a team so you both need to care more about getting to a comprise than one's opinion dominating the other. Also, do yourself a favor and befriend the word "sorry". There is nothing better than someone that knows how to say sorry. As someone who has always valued herself as an independent women, this is very new for me to be submissive in the biblical sense. I respect what he tells me, such as in financial decisions, and much in the same way, as the leader of our household, he respects what I say since he is to love me "as Christ loved the church".

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit fin everything to their husbands.

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.  For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,  because we are members of his body.
-Ephesians 5:22-30

4.) Marriage is the best
Something changes when you get married. You have this person that you love so much you want to squeeze him to death. The two of you have committed to a lifetime together and when he loves God you know that he is in it to win it. Having a partner to go through life's happy moments and sad moments is the greatest, most amazing gift. Some of my favorite nights with Mike is when we just order Chinese food and binge watch a show we're currently obsessing over, or when we go to my parents' house and spend a whole evening laughing. On the way home we hold hands, and I look over at him silently thanking God for bringing us together.

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.
- 1 Peter 4:8

Be completely humble and gentle; Be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace.
- Ephesians 4:2-3